Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite

I can still feel the fresh air with that mist in it. The fog blowing in over the water with the sound of the waves crashing in over and over. They never stopped. The air was so clean and the sky was so huge, all filled with fog and mist. So open. So clean. The city lights reflected off the fog and everything was filled with a sort of glow. A light.

Now, it’s different. It’s stale and closed in...and dark.



The first time I saw it there in the darkness, I thought I was dreaming. I didn’t do anything but stare off to where it scuttled off to dumbly. Watching as the shape slipped into the dark and was gone.  I just watched it leave without doing anything about it. I just went back to sleep. Idiot. In the morning, I searched the space where I had seen it, but I didn't see anything unusual.

I remember sitting with Jen later that day and staring up at the fog. I was cold then, but I’d take being twice as cold right now over how I feel now.

“So, what was it?” She stirred her coffee and stared at me like she was trying to decide if she was going to smile or frown.
“I don’t know. I think I was just asleep. It didn’t make any sense. It was like friggin E.T. or something.  A little kid? I’m sure I was dreaming. Forget it.” I managed to laugh, but she was reluctant to join me.
“Well, have it looked at. It might be a rat or something.”

A rat or something. Big friggin rat that walked on its hind legs? The size of a five year old. Yeah, you might want to get someone in to look at that. I never did have anyone check it. A dream? A nightmare? Who checks that? If I wasn’t so scared right now, I’d laugh. I’d laugh my ass off.


But, I don’t make a sound here in the dark of my bedroom as the lights I left on flicker, dim, and go black yet again as I find myself in bed and scared yet again. Like a somnambulist in a film. I clamp my eyes shut tight.

I can hear it coming closer with small, dragging steps and I keep my mouth shut and try to pull the sheets up around my nose so I can’t smell it’s breath which smells stale and…like sick. Vomit.

I can hear it. Feel it right in front of my face. It breathes on me and stares. I can feel it staring holes in my face, but I keep my eyes closed tight and pretend to sleep. My body is rigid. I can't move.

 I don’t want to see it. I caught a half glimpse once in a motel in Vancouver and that was bad enough. Back when I thought I could outrun it. Hide from it.

Want to scream.

But I stay silent. Still. And I keep my eyes closed shut – pretending to sleep until it goes away.

God…it’s so close. I can feel how close it is - my skin picking up the closeness of it. 

Its mouth rasps out in little, belching gasps of stench. I can feel the bile churning in my stomach.

I just wish it would go away. Just go away and leave me alone. But it never does.

Here....in the dark....do I dare open my eyes....and look it in the eyes....